Here We Go Again

And so the old familiar tummy-twist is back…that queasy, sour feeling that I get when I have no idea what tomorrow will bring…will it be business as usual, or will I stumble through the day, wondering if our lives will ever be the same again?  Tomorrow we will get more results.  Each time I get an explanation, there is even more to worry about.  It turns out that the Mr. has a Staph infection.  In his lungs.  Today he had bloodwork done to determine other factors (my-speak for I have no idea what they are looking for).  The bottom line is that along with staph, they detected pneumonia.  There were other signs that warranted them checking to see if the infection is in his heart.  The more I hear, the more I want to curl into a ball and wait to wake up from this nightmare.

What is he thinking?  I know he is relieved that we are one step closer to treatment.  However, does he wonder what tomorrow will bring, the same as I do?  I try to imagine how scared he must be, but he is unable to talk because of the cough.  It is perpetual for me…an ebb and flow, depending on what is going on, but always there.  I can only imagine that for him, it’s 100 times worse.  The blessing is that if there is more bad news, it will be tempered with treatment.



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